Pneuma: The Breathe of Life

Advocating Green's Existence through People

2009-02-11T21:12:00.005+08:00

Truly, we cannot face squarely to either sun or death. We cannot complete our being humans if we don't experience sufferings and death. All these things we supposed to think as threats are just part of what we called 'all-it-takes-to-be-the-best-concept'.

Thus, all things have purpose. Though, we are not aware at this time but these things will surely have an impact to us possitively if we look at them as significant vestiges of light.

We are with the existing world - into it and for it.

Ergo, our existence is for the others - comprised the whole as greatness.

On thinking for oneself enables us to think for our fellows and for our environment.

Now, act as one then move.

Be the enzyme!

***********************

God bless us all tomorrow Ü

As long as we will do our best, He will do the rest - the best thing we significantly deserve.

LYNCEAN [NEWSLETTER COLUMN]

2009-02-04T19:15:00.003+08:00

Behavioral Approach

It was an unusual dilemma chases me every now and then. It’s because of some reactions about my column in our first issue which confused my mind as to how will I write in a journalistic way. I knew the issue, even though they didn’t tell me directly. I’m neither numb nor deaf because I can psych and interpret some behaviors – and remember I’m enlisted in the fourth estate of society.

Few issues emerged out of nowhere; or perhaps, out of human interpretations which they perceived solely from my satirical column – to think logically. Or, I would say, there are certain complexes (Jungian Concept: a core or pattern of emotions, memories, perceptions and wishes organized around a common theme – such as power, status or more likely ‘threats’) inside their brain that triggered, preoccupied and directed their thoughts and behavior in various ways, thus it determined how ‘such’ perceive the world – my column – consciously and unconsciously.

Yes, it is very not untrue that ‘public journal is a public trust’ that our main purpose is to serve the readers. But, who are those readers? Here, in our university, the students are our market. They say that, in order to justify our being journalists, we should write for the average readers. We should level our writings to the general audience. We should rather express and not to impress. It only shows literary pretensions.

However, with regards to my column, I did not deliberately write to impress people but I intended to write in that way because of our ethical responsibilities – it’s just like a trial balloon of expression – that I was just careful when it comes to presenting my ideas. It’s a valid proposition as I deem.

I admit that the tone of the first two paragraph of my column was like an angry child scolding his playmates but the latter flowed in a logical manner.

The only reason why I’ve written in that way is because I couldn’t say it directly for I am liable to cause people in degradation and to lose my profession. I know some of the laws and ignorance will not put me at stake.

Hence, I remembered the person who told us about what we will write in our publications, particularly, The Bastion. He said that we should only write good things about our university and never degrade it. Oh, come on! Who is he to dictate us? Who is he to dismantle the conventional way of our profession? We are here to lay every side of the story for them to realize and take necessary actions and not to be like marionettes stringed in his fingertips. As said by some, we are an independent existing organization inside this institution and from that point we should not entertain things which can cause biases and one-sidedness.

After that event, someone followed like a parrot saying ‘verbs, adjectives, adverbs and nouns’ to cling to him. Just to cling? Or, it is a matter of looking good in his bulgy eyes? Think about it folks.

Yet, apparently, it’s contradicting to the concept of equilibrium among us journalists, for we should write in both sides of the issue; to inform and entertain the readers with critical mind. By then, they can have their own judgment as to which is fiction and non-fiction.

As writers and watchdogs, it is indeed a blessing that we have the ability to write. It’s not about our writings at all; it’s all about our intention to influence and wake up people in the dungeons of deafness and numbness; it’s all about realizing what we have written that can eradicate false beliefs and system; it’s all about emanating new paradigms that can emancipate the overused and wrong models; and it’s all about the appreciation of some people using their critical mind and open heart to make a move.

To my fellow writers and youths, this is our role – to be like an enzyme – the impetus to make changes for the common good.

“…at magsusulat ako kahit hindi ninyo ako maintindihan, o magsusulat ako hanggan hindi ninyo ako naiintindihan,” Virgilio S. Almarios; Panitikang Walang Lipunan (Agos).

***

Changes coincide with sacrifice. There will be no change if there is no sacrifice. There will be no sacrifice if there is none to sacrifice. There will be none to sacrifice if there is no unity. That is a sociological view of change.

We are living with our own family, our community, our society and our country. Thus, we have our own cultural traits, cultural patterns, traditions, beliefs, laws, mores and values. We are living in adherence to the changing culture and tradition. It’s a natural phenomenon for us people to adhere and compete for survival. However, if some will not, they will become the deviant of the society.

Same story with our institution, it started being arts, trades, fishery and agricultural school in 1910, and now almost a century ago and everything changed.

UP had celebrated its centennial milestone last year, according to some; they were very much prepared five years before the celebrations. And the day came for the celebrations; it’s an exhilarating and all-out event that justified their being a century old yet globally competitive institution especially when it comes to giving quality education to its clientele.

But I would like to ask, how about us? Can we feel on becoming a hundred-year-old institution? Can we feel the preparations? Or I would rather say, are we all informed that we will celebrate our centennial on February 12, 2010? I certainly doubt it; from that point can we be called a genuine university?

While some are still attached a century ago, we can now call this as deviancy; we are left behind – just like our country.

February and Adversary

2009-02-01T19:16:00.001+08:00

Haha!

I'll be leaving for Palawan next week.

GOD BLESS US!

Intercampus Cultural and Literary Festival...wah!

2009-01-30T11:32:00.002+08:00

Kaasar!

Bakit ba kasi napunta ako sa Dagliang Taalumpati.hahaha

anyway, matalo man ako, pupunta naman ako ng PALAWAN.wahaha..

and besides, masaya dahil may wayyyyyyyyyyyyyfaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy ang armchew.hek

libre ang net.bongga!

Oh xa!tsktsk!

TSOKOLATE*

2009-01-23T19:03:00.001+08:00

“Ang sarap talaga ng chocolate na ‘to ‘no! Ito talaga ang ‘the best chocolate’ na natikman ko in my entire life,” wika niya.
“Ha!? Anu? Favorite ko din kaya yan! Sarap talaga,” wika ko naman.

Muli at ewan ko ba kung bakit naisipan ko nanamang bumili ng favorite chocolate ko. Hindi naman siya sosyal at hindi rin naman kamahalan kaya nakabili ako. Parang walang katuturan ‘yung sinabi ko kung iisipin. Dati nga pitong piso lang ‘yun, e ngayon walong piso na. Siguro, apektado rin sila ng global financial crisis o sadyang mapagsamantala lang ang ilang mga tao.

Nasa mga kamay ko na siya. Nakabalot pa ng makinang na wrapper na kulay violet. Sa kanyang pagkabalot, parang ayaw bang magpabukas. Pero hindi, ako lang pala ang nag-iisip na ayaw niyang magpabukas. Parang alaala ng nakaraan na ayaw mo nang tingnan o tikman ang tamis, ay hindi pala – ang pait ng nakalipas.

Iniisip ko. Handa na ba akong buksang muli ang pinto patungo sa mapait na kahapon? Handa na ba akong muling tikman ito? Handa na ba akong tuluyang pasakop sa ideyang… Hindi ko magawang hindi ito buksan. Hindi ko magawang hindi ko ito tingnan. Hindi ko magawang hindi utusan ng utak ko ang aking mga daliri.

Hayan, hindi ko na talaga napigilan, nabuksan ko na nga. Ang sarap talagang nguyain ng milk-chocolate-caramel-wafer-roll-cereal-crispy-chocolate na ito. Crunchy at nanunuot ang tamis. Ang sarap talaga!

At kung iisipin, kasingsarap ng pagkawala ng laruan ng isang batang umiiyak. Kasingsarap ng pagkawala ng lata ng isang pulubi sa kalye. Kasingsarap ng pagkawala ng buhay sa loob ng sinapupunan ng isang ina.

Kalagim-lagim!

Parang ayaw mo ng mabuhay pa kapag kinuha ng pagkakataon ang mahalagang bagay sa buhay mo. ‘Yung tipong magbabago na ang tingin mo sa mundo. ‘Yung tipong maiiba na ang pananaw mo sa mga bagay bagay. Hanggang sa matulad ka na lang kay Ophelia at Othello.

Ngunit ganyan talaga ang buhay. Dalawang pagkakataong nasa dugo na ng bawat indibidwal – ang pait at tamis.

At habang nasisiyahan ako sa pagkain ng chocolate na ito ay parang may kasama ang mga alimpuyo hangin – mainit bunga ng global warming. Parang may maiinit at maliliit na boses na bumubulong ng kung anu. Parang pilit pinapaalala ang isang bagay na hindi mo alam kung babalik pa. Paulit-ulit ang musika galing sa hangin. Parang gumagawa ito ng ritmo ng isang kanta.

“Ang sarap talaga ng chocolate na ‘to ‘no! Ito talaga ang ‘the best chocolate’ na natikman ko in my entire life,” wika niya.
“Ha!?Anu? Favorite ko din kaya yan! Sarap talaga,” wika ko naman.

Habang hinihipnotismo ako ng musikang dala ng hangin at ng tamis ng chocolate na ito. Nakita kong papaaubos na ito. Paubos na. Paubos na rin ang oras ko. Ngunit hindi! Maghihintay ako. Maghihintay ako.

Alam ko. Alam ko.

Babalik siya. Babalik siya.

*Choco Mucho

EDITOR’S THOUGHT-PROVOKING EXPERIENCE

2009-01-23T18:59:00.002+08:00

“Children of Rizal’s 100 years: Surpassing the Past. Fulfilling the Future”

A Sublime Dream of Rizalized Youth: Moving Forward

“When your body is frozen with oppression to move, your mind is losing in labyrinthine chaotic reality, your heart is sealed with thorns and vines of injustices and emergence of crisis; just remember one thing, dispel them all with your faith, will and determination.”

Before, I was just reading some news in the past issues of our publication about the prestigious conference of National Rizal Youth Leadership Institute that is annually organize by the Order of the Knights of Rizal (Chartered Under RA 646) and Kabataang Pangarap ni Rizal (youth counterpart of the order). The university is sending delegates to compete in different competitions and train them to become effective leaders. In fact, during the past years, some alumni had lorded over in different contested areas nationwide from the said conference, like Rodel Q. Amita who was once a champion in Rizal Quiz Show and a finalist in the most coveted title of Jose Rizal Model Students of the Philippines (JRMSP); Ismael T. Fisco, Jr. who was once a silver medalist in Rizal Extemporaneous Speaking; and James John Peter Paul Bada who also once a bronze medalist in Rizal Essay Writing Competition. Hence, I told to myself that someday I will be one of those who will represent the university – even just a delegate.

I remembered the day when I was heading to our publication’s office after class. When I arrived in there, I saw the Federated Supreme Student Government President (Daimel Delos Reyes) sitting alongside the window. I greeted him and after a while, a thought came from my mind or perhaps a wishful thinking that had burst out. I asked him about the NRYLI without the intention of joining to it. Then, at that time, they were hunting another delegate who will represent the university in Rizal Essay Writing Competition. Yes, I was fortunate indeed! That I had been chosen! And I thought that this is my sought after sublime dream - chance of a lifetime.

And the day came for our departure from Zambales to Baguio City. As I recalled, I traveled with seven strangers and some total strangers within eight hours inside the bus.

But when we arrived at the coldest part of our archipelagic country, it seemed that the low temperature made us bonded with each other.

It was a five-day conference and training and I didn’t know what to expect from it because it was my first time to attend NRYLI. I thought that it was just an ordinary conference with different hues of mind motivated by their own motives. I had a vague idea of what will happen to me before. All I had in mind was the contest. I prepared for it before we go because of the thought of bringing home the bacon.

However, as the days went by and the contests and some lectures were done, I had a little satisfaction about my literary piece but I forgot about it. All I know was that I did my best.

My attention was diverted to the conference per se; I came there with totally indistinct idea of what will happen to me and to what purpose why I was able to join there. Many questions blasted inside my cranium but as I recognized, I had my own group commission (Rose-Pink), with my co-commissioners of different blend of mind and personality and a dear coordinator, Ate Castle.

From then on, I felt a sense of belongingness from my co-commissioners and it was fun. Every time when there were lectures and activities about various topics – about life, people and our country – we always made it to the point of listening and doing the activities wholeheartedly.

Hence, I learned variety of things about our world, our country, our government, our economy and more importantly about myself. I have learned and realized everything that our National Hero, Dr. Jose Rizal, wanted for us to be – the youth of today as impetus for nation building and reformation by making his idealism come into reality.

But a question came out, how can I become one of the young ones as impetus for National progress if I am still attached to my own chaotic-individuality?

Then, I realized that I was living in my past because of my resentment and resistance to it and that I had been very much worried about my future. I realized that revenge will never be the key for emancipation of heavy baggage within me. I realized that I had a false and ambiguous vision and goals in life. I realized that I have to improve myself first before enacting and leading.

I realized that I must leave things behind and accept the gift of life - the present.

I learned to forgive myself from those failures, shortcomings and disappointments in my past. I also learned to forgive the significant people in my life that caused sufferings and miseries to me like my parents. I had let go of the dark side of me, and now I am ready to partake.

As the youth of today, we must first improve ourselves to fully lead in nation building. We must have the positive attitude in every life’s struggle; vivid imagination of what we will become; written goals as guide; focus and taking actions that all contributed to the secret of our success.

As young leaders of our own self, of our family, of our university and of our country, we must visualize our goals using our belief and action to attain the sought after result. We must cling to the idea of the will to perfection in the wide road of progress by using our means now – by treasuring our education.

“Por la educacion recibe lustre la patria.” It is only in education that we can acquire the luster of our nation. True to those words of Rizal, that this is our role and guiding principle as Filipino youth to change the overused belief systems and paradigms of our country, and build a moral community using our faith, will and determination that will become the impetus for National governance, prosperity, respect, integrity and liberty.

I remembered what Don Rafael Ibarra (a character from Noli Me Tangere/Touch me not/ Social Cancer) once told to Crisostomo Ibarra, his son, this things.

“You are a man now and you must think about your future and about your duties…You must learn the science of life. If you remain here in my shadow, you will not learn to look far ahead…You must think of other and greater things…sacrifice for the future.”

Yes, and it is very much apparent that a life which is not dedicated to a great idea is useless and more likely - futile.

In the end of the conference, though I didn’t win, still, I will never cease to write because it was never about the contest – it is about me - the learning I have gained that helped me evolved as one of the children of Rizal. I can say that I am a Rizalized youth for I surpassed my past and ready to fulfill my future - a sublime dream of our National Hero to relive his legacy and idealism!

NON OMNIS MORIAR
“Not everything in me will die.”

Injustices of Justice

2009-01-23T18:56:00.000+08:00

“What is strong wins and it’s the universal law.”
- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, German Philosopher

As one of the volunteers during the Prison Awareness Sunday at Zambales Provincial Jail last October 24, I felt mixture of emotions when we entered the prison ground. I couldn’t determine what would be my impression and reaction towards the environment and specifically to the inmates –or enrollees as called by warden Paneda– during that time.

According to Ret. PNP Col. Amado Paneda, which is currently the warden of the provincial jail, he said that, when he studied the statistic of cases in the jail during his latter days as he occupied the chair, 5 percent from 100 percent enrollees are guilty of the crime while the remaining 95 percent are innocent and just pre-suspected by the complainants.

With my co-volunteers [the 3rd year and 4th year Psych Studes, CAS, RMTU-Main], we had witnessed the situations of the inmates when we roamed inside each cell. The environment is not so nice but you can see that they are making most of their times doing things which are useful; like making woodcrafts and the like. It was said, too, that some inmates are being enrolled in vocational courses.

After that ocular in each cell, we moved to the waiting shed adjacent to prisoners’ colony. There, we waited them - the inmates. And when they arrived, our adviser told us to approach and counsel one of them.

As I saw them, I tried to choose but I thought of not choosing anyone. I just moved to a petite man with a dark complexion and with typical body build. I asked him in a nice approach and there it goes.

He is Rene, a Born Again Christian. He became outspoken at that time. He has been a barber in a small shop. It was then that he was arrested with warrant of arrest as being suspected as the 26k- worth-robber in a grocery. He said that he was not the perpetrator because the evidence found inside his house was not his – it’s a frame up from his peers.

He told me, during the third month inside the jail, that his family has started to ruin. His family moved to Olongapo and did not even make an extra effort to visit him. He told me that the true suspect admitted it already but according to his lawyer, it’s not easy to do that because it’ll take a long process. His case can be bailed of about P8, 000 and he’s thinking where he will be able to find that amount. A big question and a call to the Christian community!

“Ganyan talaga ang batas dito, pumunta kayo dito para malaman nyu ang katotohanan. Baluktot ang batas, pawang para sa mga may pera lang ang batas natin. Kapag mahirap ka, kulong ang labas mo. Ipinagpapasa-Diyos ko na nga lang e, buti nga ‘di na uma-attend ‘yung complainant ko.”

After that, it just like something had provoked me to promise something to him but I recalled what had Sr. Lydia told us before we entered in the premise, “Do not promise anything to them!” I just said to him that God will not let him suffer that long. Time will come that you’ll get out from here. You’ll make another phase of your life outside these bars. Then, he bid good bye and thanked me for listening to him and so was I; that I had an odd conversation – the veracity of failures of the society.

***

Another inmate is Albert, a 19-year-old lad who has been suspected as one of the perpetrators of a murder case. His two older brothers have been in jailed one year before he entered because of the accusations, that they killed the victim.

According to him, three of them was in their house during the crime and they didn’t even know who’s that person being killed. Not in their consciousness that the victim is their acquaintance. One of the peers of the victim with the consent of the family pointed them as the murderers. Albert has been arrested during their barangay basketball league tournament without warrant of arrest and he said that the officer who had arrested him didn’t wear his proper uniform. A ground of suppression to one’s right and not abiding such standard procedure!

Another ear-boggling scenario from his innocent mind declared this manifesto, “Iniisip nga namin na pinagpeperahan lang kami ng pamilya nila. Sabi nga ng nanay namin, ibenta na lang ‘yung bukid para pang-bail samin. Pero sabi namin nila kuya, huwag, kasi parang inamin na din namin ‘yung krimen na hindi namin talaga ginawa.”

I just told him, that no matter what happen; keep your faith to God that someday there will come a time that you and your brothers will get out from these sufferings of injustice to the little people.

***

Yeah, it’s a fact! People who have wealth, who practiced padrino system and who abused peoples’ ignorance are just but the strong ones and the big ones. The laws are just for them. They can mobilize the society in their own palm.

However, is this righteous thing? Absolutely, it’s not. And I would like to reaffirm this, “Your conscience is your law and it’ll never be bought by such monetary and power system.”

Random Emergence of Unconscious (Shhh!)

2009-01-23T18:22:00.000+08:00

YULETIDE

Eyes-closed:

I can see nothing but snow flakes,

Mountains covered with thick bunches of snow,

And lakes, and rivers, all frozen!

Shining, shimmering from sun’s rays.

Eyes-opened:

It was all fantasy.

“I’m still reminiscing the ‘essential you’ that reflects in the gleams of Diana.”

Ode to a Co-commissioner

CIVITAS DEI

Mingled to you from yester-night’s breeze

is such a heavenly feeling.

Surged and caressed by soft wind,

Heard melodies from far-away leaves,

Yowled from liberation of rhythms and rhymes of our souls; and

Luster -dew dropped onto our cheeks.

“Then Diana made it more romantic.”

Dated:

16 December 2008

46^th National Rizal Youth Leadership Institute Conference, Baguio City

In either way, choose?

To keep holding to a single hope:

To keep holding and do nothing,

To keep holding and die for nothing;

And to persist loving for the lie you’ve made.

COWARDICE

A ghost hunts me

Seems devouring me wholly

I want to run away…

Oh, it lingers!

Oh, I’m afraid!

Afraid for what I’ve made…

A ghost still hunts me…

SILAW at ISANG GABING PANAGINIP

Sadya bang ganito and tadhana?

O, bakit nakapapagal wariin.

Tanglaw ko ang hiwaga ng buwan;

hayaan mong ibulalas ko,

Tanglaw ko ang kislap ng tangi kong bituin;

hayaan mo ang mga haplos ko,

haplos kong may hiwagang umuukilkil…

O, Dakila kong Araw,

‘wag mo akong pasuin

‘wag mo akong gisingin

sa iyong nakasisilaw na silahis.

SILAW

Lingid sa kaalaman ng lahat…

IKAW…

AY…

NAKASISILAW…

Walang alam ang iba…

Manloloko!

TULANG PATANONG

Paano ba ako magpapatuloy hahawak sa sinabi mong lubid kung sa tingin ko’y isa lamang itong sinulid na pilit kong ibinubuhol sa kasalukuyan mula sa nakaraan at umaasang aabot pa sa hinaharap?

Abnormal Psychology: A Threat for us...

2009-01-19T17:35:00.001+08:00

It should not be like that...
Oh! Come on people...

ETIOLOGY
SIGNS
SYMPTOMS
...

THE BASTION: FORUM!
Another thing, according to such, we lack budget anymore to produce another issues of newsletter.
How come?
...

STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Overflowing Thoughts

2009-01-02T21:45:00.002+08:00

(ellipsis)...

and ampersand (&)

Year of the OX: 2009 begins...

2009-01-01T20:12:00.000+08:00

Hmm...

According to some predictions, year of the Ox is good, or rather a fortune for the people born on the year 1990.

Well, let's see.

'Coz I'm certain.

Be happy!

National Rizal Youth Leadership Institute Conference (NRYLI 2008)

2009-01-01T19:46:00.000+08:00

With my co-commissioners [ROSE PINK: Kim, UC; Kuya Edmund, URS; Daphne, UC; MJ, ARMCHEW; and Paula, a junior HS stude somewhere in Pampanga Ü] during our service training at Baguio City.

With Niel of Camarines

Oh! Don't eat ate! Hehe

Part of our service training is to ask some individuals around Baguio if Jose Rizal's idealism is still true nowadays.

Are the youth of today still the hope of our fatherland?

Ang Pagpapatuloy

2008-12-25T18:54:00.000+08:00

At magpapatuloy akong maglakad...

Isang paglalakad sa matinik na daan ng buhay.

Kakayanin kong abutin ang aking dapat abutin.

I WILL 'coz I CAN.

BALIW NA KALIGAYAHANΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨ

2008-12-23T21:33:00.000+08:00

EUPHORIA

VICTOR

2008-12-23T21:28:00.000+08:00

Ang Pagkapanalo

...at sana'y madugtungan pa...

PRESKON 2008

2008-12-23T21:14:00.000+08:00

It was after my event during the 8th Regional Tertiary Press Congress held last November 12-14, 2008 at Sitio Lucia, Sta. Maria, Bulacan.

I'm in the middle and with me: ATE RG and TOPE.Ü

By then, I'm going to Palawan for the 8th Luzonwide Press Congress on February 12-14, 2009.

My room mates.

I think our room's number was 215..hmm,not really sure...

Guessing game:

Who are going to Palawan?

hahaÜ

peace!pasalubong!crocks!

NOLI ME TANGERE ala ΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨΨ

2008-12-23T21:07:00.000+08:00

A rendition of Dr. Jose Rizal's Noli Me Tangere on stage.

THE CASTS!

October 7, 2008

RET Center

RMTU-Main Campus

Social Cancer/Touch Me Not/'Wag Mo Akong Salingin

***as Padre Damaso.haha.also,the director and eksenador...

KAARAWAN KO

2008-12-23T21:04:00.000+08:00

During my birthday.

082390082308

***DRUNK Ü

PAPJA CONVENTION 2008

2008-12-23T20:52:00.000+08:00

Psychological Association of the Philippines-Junior Affiliates Convention (PAPJA) held last November 28-29 at De La Salle University-Manila.

We are the delegates from the Ramon Magsaysay Technological University-Main Campus, Iba Zambales.

supposedly posted early september.haha

2008-09-15T17:43:00.000+08:00

Wow!

It's almost a month since I made a blog...I overly missed this stuff.

Hmm...

Everytime I do such, I always make a way for a substantial article to post. But now, I really don't know what to say and how to say things. I've been so much busy recently. Doing things academically and my passion: writing and making our paper exemplary competitive, wow, perhaps the most satisfying things after the exhausting nights and that so-called 'issues'. Duh?!

Anyway, I've learned one thing, yeah I really did...I just found out that I am taking for granted my academic performances. I am not just satisfied with what I have got: the scores and the frustrating...

Time, certainly flies...and gone...

2008-08-03T18:36:00.000+08:00

"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

Inasmuch as being human, we only have one chance to live when we talk about normal individuals and phenomena. In this world of abstractions, one must mold and create his own image to stand out among the same-different-humans. Life is uncertain but the only certainty in this uncertain world is, things must come to an end.

Truly, the unexamined life is not worth living. We may always be driving by our unique personality but this does not necessarily mean that we will not be able to blend with the milieu or to the changing holocaust. They say, “as long as I am what I am, it’ll bring me good.” But it’ll bring you no good indeed. It’s the moral responsibilities of every individual to distinguish the situation, to determine what should be applicable to say and not to say. One must learn to recognize the wholesome thoughts from the unwholesome one.

As social being and by nature as political animal, we always tend to be in the group or crowd. Obsessed by our insatiable desire to communicate freely, however, we should know that words are powerful. Every little thing we say has its own impact to the one we directly or indirectly told. Our opinions’ always count, that’s why we should be impeccable to those things we are uttering.

Finding ourselves when we go through life is a very haunting experience. When we are lost in the dark tunnel, one must seek and think how to create his own light or somehow to embrace the vestige of the light.

We do have the veritable conscious control to our fate and destiny, but still, some things are meant to stay that way. We must accept the fact that after encountering with the living and the dead we will be left alone conversing with ourselves; cogitating and actualizing…

In my journey, I have learned to think and act wisely in every life’s endeavor. I’ve learned to examine myself and others; to see through us in manipulating our seeming capacity to live a moral life. I firmly believed that no matter how hard it may be, falling down to your knees is never been a threat nor a danger. We must eradicate our pride and obtain humility to sustain one’s moral life.

Every man has his own societal tasks and responsibilities, as well as our moral obligation to the book of the world. We must learn to recognize every little thing of it and their appropriate places to act and react.

We must learn to value each other as He values us to be worthy enough to the borrowed time. We must leave our legacy of goodness to ascend throughout generations.

I know that it’s by nature of every man to err because just like the moon, every man has its own dark side; but only those who are fool persevere in errors.

…and even a single flutter of a butterfly’s wing can ultimately cause havoc halfway around the world.

Self-Concept Inventory Assessment: Candid Sincerity!

2008-07-19T16:07:00.000+08:00

I stand five (5’) feet and six (6”) inches and weigh one hundred eighty (180 lbs) pounds, having a brown complexion but I’m determined to attain a fair one. I have eloquent eyes by which I adore its dramatic effects onto my sentiments in life, same as my cute nose. Some always noticing my bizarre ears, it has a shape like the letter C. I have pouting lips and cute chubby cheeks. I want to have braces because of my parting-sort-of-white teeth. With regards to my physical appearance, I’m not particular to any parts of my body to develop or to improve; however, all I want is to lighten up my complexion and have braces. I don’t want to change my size as of now because someone had told me that it’s enough to have a body size like this as long as I’m healthy, so I am. Yeah, my hair! This somehow my obsession, I have stylish black hair always this kind of effects from my hair wax.

I’m always wearing my white uniform with Chinese collar (psychology stud) and nameplate during Mondays to Thursdays and smart casual attire during Fridays. I like wearing stylish polo t-shirt, polo and pants; either slacks or not. I also like wearing semi-formal attires and formal too.

At present, I can relate smoothly to my friends and colleagues as long as they do not interfere with my rights, judgments and principles in life. If so, then I’ll tend to dislike people and avoid them anyways. Well, we all know that during at this point of being an adolescent, many things have been bantering inside and out, in other words, we are so sentimental because of our heightened emotionality. There’s no turning back for what have been done onto me, as I deemed they betrayed me and it’ll be ultimately hard to rend and to sew.

Some of my friends see me as transparent individual. They have said that I’m a loving friend, sincere and caring one.

In my family, before, I think that I have of no importance to them. They always blame me for everything, especially my mother. But in the end, with my knowledge gained from psychology, I had been able to understand them, particularly my mom. They are just thinking of my welfare and they care for me to be not lost along.

To the strangers, I relate to them in necessity and from call of societal duty or perhaps my conscience. If they badly need help then eventually I will.

Having someone who will permanently or temporarily hold your heart is like I can give my all. I’ve been hopelessly in-love once; I can’t help it to be hurt, to be glad and to be of everything. I’m a sensitive person, sentimental rather emotional, low frustration tolerance, but all of these, I could now accept everything and admit it. But sometimes, it takes time to heal the wounds that will ever leave scars.

Well, to describe my personality makes me feel guilty, because I don’t know what to utter. I don’t know what adjectives I will use to.

It’s necessary, indeed, so there it goes. I’m sensitive in nature, intuitive, selfish/self-centered or narcissistic for some times, in short egoistic and egotistic in survival in accords to the nature. My human side, that every man has its own, those are mine – the dark side of the moon.

I couldn’t really and truly find what adjective will describe my optimistic and pessimistic sides. All I can say is that, when the time where there’s light I can see it and when the time there’s no more light, I will make one.

As I stated above, they see me boastful, self-centered, selfish and appalling but they just don’t understand me. I couldn’t blame them, because those are their prerogatives and prejudices. As long as they are not interfering my own existence, the way I exist! – And as long as they are not creating clamors behind me.

Some of my relatives see me as studious, talented and some says ‘very sentimental loner’. My family says that I’m lazy, bad and in all they see me negatively – a rubbish. They are not seeing me as a brand-new-hard-bound-book.

My academic performances are unparalleled as I see it. I have gained high grades and will have to gain again. However, some of my subjects are not that so high. That it gives me reason to strive more. Probably, my intellectual capacity has been full bloomed already.

I can balance my academic and non-academics tasks. I’ve been a member and officers of various organizations in the university. Functioning every now and then inside the campus. And presently holding one of the highest posts in the student publication; The Bastion, as the managing editor and layout artist. Also the secretary of Philippine Science Consortium (RMTU Council), vice-president of both Psychological Society (RMTU Chapter) and Sci-Math Club.

I have routinely doing activities everyday. During weekdays, I’m waking up six in the morning, to have breakfast, take a good bath and prepare for school. I’m eating three times a day with healthy and delicious foods. In weekends, cleaning my room and sometimes the entire house and also washing my worn-out clothes.

Above all, I’m not forgetting to thank God every now and then for the life and blessings always bestowing upon me.

Truly, I am a late maturer, however my curiosity is insatiable. Only now, that I have somehow fully developed my mental capacity and capability. I’m a fast learner in science, philosophy, arts and others. I’m somehow poor in numerical and logics. I’m very inquisitive and creative to either written, oral or of other performances which include aesthetics. I’m fund of reading books and other reading materials though immaterial. Also, regularly updating myself through internet, so as I’m also blogging.

I have special knowledge in journalistic writing, free writing, painting, singing, theater acting, lay-outing publications, and graphic illustrations and of leadership. I have acquired variety of wisdom from different philosophers, philosophical books, the Bible which is from God and in the book of the world.

I can see and feel that my libidinal or psychic energy is high because of such stimulus. The power of procreation have endowed upon us. Looking myself as a wise man makes me feel alive…

Vestige: At the Extent of Lamentation

2008-06-29T17:36:00.000+08:00

Amidst the four corners of the Attic,
They saw a crumpled paper.
From the inside bare as hollow sheet…
As the wind blows!
- The scent of the Cherry Blossoms.
- The scent of the Grapes in the vineyard.
- The scent of the leaves of Eucalyptus.
- Savoring…
As the water streams!
- That soothing swim of the Turtle.
As the ground breaks!
- The Jade emerges.
- The Greenish thing.
--- As the water spills like erupting volcano.
There’s no more Road…
- Straight, zigzag, narrow, curve…
- It had gone astray…
As per se un-mend!
Only then, to see that Depths…
I can still see leaves of that Giant-nameless-tree.

Murmurs of the Humming Bird atop!
Pressed inside an archaic-thick-book…
“It burns!”
The fire-heart…I left! I left! I left “those”…

With my Carpet and Lit,
As I journey once more…

MEMENTO

2008-06-29T16:59:00.000+08:00

And that yearning of uneventful yesterdays!
Coerced by your demeanors and explicit gestures of endearment…
From this day,
I could see you!
I could feel you…
You’re still a part of me…
A part of this Shattered Memories!

OUCH!

2008-05-14T18:51:00.000+08:00

It was afternoon, a very hot day…
It was like I’m not in vein to chat
Feeling the ambience within and without
Counting every sweats drifting to my skin.

But one moment changes my mood…
Pony-tailed hair, smiles that touches my heart,
And a hearty-tone, saying “Hello”
Then I replied, “Hi”

We both sit close at hand…
Chatting and exploring the truth in each of one of us.
We found out, we both loved music.
Singing with a soft voice, for us to hear the essence of the song.

Surroundings had changes into sentimental scene…
Drops of rain scattered on the ground.
Drifting like a stream.
The acuteness of my sense tends me to hear everything in existence.
“What makes that beating so fast?”

Ambience change to refreshing and cooling effect…
From that moment, it’s ceased our time.
I knew her more.
Kind of having proximate relation with her,
Then we became friends.

“She” changes my vista and enthusiasm…
It was her fault,
I fell in the hole of pain and sorrow.
Made my optimistic view, as if she will be more than a friend of mine.

A decision, then revelation follows…
I treated her more than others,
I always made her smile.
Revealed feelings, it burst out, I admitted it.

Another Moment, it changes all…
“I can only give to you is, as a friend, nothing less and nothing more.”
“You irritate me.”
Somewhere, somehow, you’ll find that “apple of yours.”

Wrong view of mine, accepting the fact, “but it is so hard”…
This passage is very risky.
A trial and error, sometimes you win and more times you lost.
“She broke my world, but she made me strong.”

***a poem which dedicated to someone.haha.tsk!

noon pa 'yun...nyahahaha

Psychological Analysis on Personality

2008-04-19T20:01:00.000+08:00

CAN you LIVE WITH SHIRT AND PANTS???

In the different grounds of knowledge, studies and specializations, there are, somehow, absolute or exact fact based on studies which can be educated or seek objectively by educators and by any others. Thus, it leaves a slim space for the study and development of behavioral sciences with its social relationships.

It has been said that almost 90 percent of studies have been proven and now being used in different practice of applications while 10 percent’s left for the so-called enigmatic studies. One of them is Psychology, is now field of science that deals with the study of human behavior, cognition and social interaction. Many had said that it is human behavior, which is very difficult to understand and study. Behavior of individual varies on a certain cultures, situations, and upbringings. It is not ended only on the scientific inquiries of this study constitutes the mind but all the necessary aspects should be considered. The most controversial field of psychology is the personality of the individuals. Many theorists tried to explain how human acts in certain ways and certain situations. They had been able to postulate their own theoretical inquiries based on their studies in that field and of their experiences.

In one sense, what are the major causes of individual’s behavior? Would it be in his development and upbringing, maybe his repressed unconscious motives? Or, his view on different circumstances with his behavior towards it, rather.
(To be continued...)

Mea Culpa

2008-03-31T19:40:00.000+08:00

Sa pagdaan ng panahon,
Mananatiling magkayakap
Ang init
Ng dagat, at ang
Lamig ng buhangin
Sa ilalim ng dilim…

TELLTALE(D)

2008-03-31T19:15:00.000+08:00

Repressions
Oppressions
Depressions
- it fills me!
I –
Enjoy glum,
Love teary-ness,
Live in unfathomed space…
------Erudite Un-shallowness,
- I’m into…
Howbeit,
When “SHE” came,
It turns me topsy-turvy!
I –
------Fore-felt the care,
…the bizarre endearment,
…my space became hers.
I –
------Shouldn’t want to admit,
------Still, the pulsating thing…
-, it telltale[d]!

“I love her!”

The Law of Unfairness

2008-03-20T20:17:00.000+08:00

“The more effort you exert the less benefit you take, but the less effort you exert the more benefit you take.”

Apparently life is very much unfair. From the very first significant event of someone’s life that only a single sperm can enter the egg cell to fertilize. For the parents, it is indeed unfair that they’ve enjoyed eleven minutes (according to the novel, Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho) of pleasure but sacrifices for the rest of their lives. For the students, isn’t it fair for your parents to send you to school and give your allowances and certainly, you’ll end up in poor grades. And for a student giving not his best in his studies and yet he had received skyscraping grades because of make-up project but far high from a student who evidently excelled in his studies.

Nowadays, many actions in our lives can be considered as being unfair. As we all experienced, we cook our food for more or less than an hour but eat in less than ten minutes. We buy expensive delicacies and yet it is unhealthy to us. We buy more things for entertainment and leisure but not even give charity a help. Many countries are rich and more of their funds are being used for making weapons for their somehow absolute defense. Don’t they think that the funds for those insane matters can cure the poverty of the world? They are just making unfair out of their power and wealth, and trying to reach the omnipotence of all. How cruel they are to think that they can reach above others.

Many things considered as being unfair but unconsciously people ignored these things (if only they knew those) because of the fact of some big unfairness they are facing, that they were born in this world unequal. Ethically, we were not born equal because of our basic dignity. Some might have lost their dignity along the way, but it mustn’t or shouldn’t be lost. It is somehow our bludgeon in different events or aspects in our lives.

However, isn’t it fair for a student to arrive at the omnipotence from wrong doings? For some, “It is better to cheat than to repeat”, an irony of inanity indeed. Isn’t it fair for your beliefs – or for your superego? Or it’s just a defense mechanism of your inferiority. Perhaps, your conscience may be the arbitrator for you to be penalized. Somehow, the unfairness has the goal for itself, the motivations of being unfair and the fact of their self-satisfactions or purpose which is righteous but in an unethical way of having it.

In larger sense, making things fair is very much good and easy even though He made the world unfair. It’s just His way of getting our attention and believing in Him. Whenever we do well, the innate glow will definitely glow upon us. However, when we do evil, He will just teach us to be good. But don’t wait for Him to teach you to do good things and being fair because, somehow, His way isn’t fair also.

***this article of mine was already published in our literary folio (SINGKAW).

A Perspective

2008-03-13T20:21:00.000+08:00

So, my expedition is not yet over, it is but the start…

In my entire existence, I became aware on every issue concerning every individual on particular reasons, either to oppose or not to. The worst scenario is when a dispute start, a disagreement, an argument (either false or otherwise) which would lead to a so-called rivalry between particular individuals or groups. A non-stop stoning of their foul deeds and that could certainly occur or recur in different situations, just like a contagious disease inflicting every living cell which could destroy a whole being.

For my 17 years stay in the surface of this orb, I’ve experienced enormous variety of variations and diversions, from the basic unit of the society, local areas, school or university, and of national or even international diversification.

Thus, in its own circuits, it accompanied different electrifying charges of either negative or positive equivalence. Their world is much chaotic than to someone who live in South Africa where even juveniles do unforgivable deeds as the rebels insists and torments them in their own way. There are almost 200,000 children, as of now, being used as soldiers for their ‘selfish desire’ of ruling the entire Africa and see no peace but destructions and chaos. The rebels decides for what they want to do without conforming to the norms of the society particularly to the laws in their state. They made their laws to follow which people suffers because of no safeguards from ‘papers’ and of even from the so-called ‘law-enforcers’.

In a small but larger sense, inside the family, this is known as the indispensable unit of our society. Many children suffer from abused (physically, emotionally, mentally and sexually), broken families, child labors and much more. The disgraceful juveniles suffering from all of these are innocents. They need enormous care, love and affection from significant someone. Why all these things are happening in our society? Does it give us a reason that we can generalize the world as it seems to be immobilized?

Psychologically, if an individual is emotionally disturbed at home or having stress from the family then it would certainly affect its outward behavior in different milieu.

If a child isn’t receiving any praises, encouragements and the like from his parents then eventually he will feel inferior and lack of competence, low self-esteem and confidence. But if the child’s perspective is not the otherwise, then he will just praise, or encourage himself that will cause boasting. From that, he will become voracious subsequently followed by a more habitual (bad) act in his latter life. He will be like an "alligator", thinking that he is powerful that the he can subdue everything, a synonymous act of politicians and leaders in different public and private sectors nowadays.

In short, the development of an individual affects a lot; he may abuse his power, wealth and capability, which could probably affect (also) his milieu.

As a Psychology student, a tagline is being imposed to us, that, "we respect individual differences and we adjust in every situation". Partly, we are in there, but we are talking about the people, there welfare and human side. We understand but we cannot impose to each and every individual to understand a person’s bad deeds. Only then, that the best moral principle is ‘utilitarianism’. The ethical doctrine, that the moral worth of an action is solely determined by its contribution to overall utility, meaning, "the greatest good for the greatest number". A sacrifice of one person for the sake, or for the welfare of the entire nation or, rather, for the entire university. That, what Jesus had made for us to be forgiven and redeemed. Can we just think of the entirety and not of our selfish desires?

However, for some people, who are running after to their emotions, and though we cannot blame them as a Filipino, because that’s our nature and culture – being emotional. But sometimes we couldn’t think for the goodness of some leaders that they have done in their administrations.

Nevertheless, if one couldn’t sacrifice his supremacy for the entirety, then we would make a move for his selfish desires.

A balloon is soft and tolerable for squeezing and it gives us a pleasure of ‘toying’ it. Sometimes, it moves up and down but not even popping out, unless someone will try to poke it.
A balloon is not tolerable or not enjoyable, rather, if the air inside exceeds to its maximum capacity. It can move up and down but it will become fragile and as one smooth poke, eventually it will pop out.

"If it is too much, then, enough!"

As we take every phase of our lives with the pace of a lightning, try to think for our freedom and for our rights…

*Fathoming the Depth

2008-03-12T20:10:00.000+08:00

***

Exonerate me for I will outstandingly upsurge this passive lady at this point of time…

Da,

How are you now? I overly miss you these days.

Way back 2000 was the foremost year that you got all-out to be the best person in the classroom which was packed with newly primary graduate similar to us. For four long years Da, you were in that position that not a soul could ever tell you that you are pathetic or messed up. People are liked you. People knew you. You do love yourself, identical to narcissus’ admiration to himself and you told me that you could feel the existence of God very near on or after you. You never had uncertainties with your family’s concern. No snuffle from your lovers. You find studying irresistible. You were awarded time and again as the best theater actress in our school and in an intercollegiate competition in our city those days. You were beauty queen intellect and you have been a faithful friend to me. I miss the way you talk to me like a six-year old child. I miss your manner of mourning for now we both know that you’re not able to shed tears. I guess you are now an introvert or maybe you are just so busy that you do not have time to sob in front of my face once more.

At present I can still see you grinning though there are *depths beyond those. I cannot still figure out why. So I could say that some grins are fake smiles and some fake smiles are grin. High school living is over. After that, I didn’t see your genuine beam again. They are all false now. What happened to you Da? Where are you now? It has been a long time since I last saw you kneeling and praying so hard for a friend like me. I find it hard to talk to you again because you’re always ignoring what you fell…what you really feel. When will you be true to yourself again? When will you boost yourself? What is the problem? How could you do that to yourself? Where is the respect that you’ve put in your heart eight years ago? Where are those promises that you will let me see you succeed when you enter college? Is it me who is expecting too much? Or you who did not do your best to be what you want to be?

I would like to see you more often. I would like to be with you alone. I will wait for your answers to all questions I uttered lately. You have been so quiet these years. I can feel the pain that is in your expressions but I am also aware that you don’t want to talk about it right now.

One month more and you are out of school. You should cheer-up young lady! You are about to enter a new ambiance which will enable you to show-off your abilities and discover your strengths. Promise me that you will never be shy again. Please tell me that you will do your best now. Let me know that you will never be inferior and you will forget your painful past experiences. Offer me that genuine smile once more like when you are in your innocent high school memoirs. Never let anyone hurt you again and never let mistakes degrade you the second time. Grow up from those things! You have the power to fix it. You are forgiven so it’s better to forgive yourself also. This is a perfect time to put everything in order. You are free now. Move on! Be who you are and say what you feel. I won’t do anything to hurt you again.

*I love you. I do respect your whole being.

*Yourself

***ijo, eto na yung request mo! paxenxa na sa mga wrong "gramming"! Sayo na ito, remembrance!hehe! Tago mo ito ah para di mo limot na may isa ka pang mommy...

-ako-

*madalang lang nakakpansin nyan saken haha!

*idea yan ng isang friend ko!

*after all, mahal ko parin pala sarili ko =)

*ako parin to ijo mejo busy lang!

---this manifesto is from my best mommy;)

Assumero^^,

2008-02-16T18:26:00.000+08:00

The way ‘She’ beholds me!

Gazing above the empyrean,
In a night filled with “stars”,
Can’t help but to cry and whine…

Amidst the dew-like on integuments,
Mirrors the clog never hear,
As the breezy air befall on sentiments…

Lone in the umbrages of the unknown,
Likewise being drive by a Jamadar,
And discontinuous breathe emission…

Vague to augur a proposition,
Unless the doom of mist comes to end near,
So as the nerves back to intuition…

Sensation on the first and last eon,
Outstretch the teary eyes for caresses and not to fear,
But “someone’s” shining likes neon…

Lays a hand on my temple,
And molds an eloquent eyes beneath the glacier,
That “something’s” behind,

The way she beholds me!

My Disconsolateness and Wretchedness of being a Narcissist!

2008-02-08T18:42:00.000+08:00

“Ouch!”
Something had pricked the seat of my emotions. It was pierced by some-sort-of-jur, by a pretentious-uneasy-but-undeniably conspicuous being. It was directly hit by “its” ultimate supremacy which tends to a thing to react. It was being sensed then traverse-ly moves across the axon carrying the neurotransmitter substance that sends inevitably. The pulsating momentum disclosed, it pulsates, beats and the haste of it, and estimate-ly measures’ nano-seconds after reaching the seat – my hypothalamus. The supreme commanded the reacting mechanisms-glands, hormones, and muscles- of my body to manifest the inevitable and hurting disclosure.

It manifests lots of thing…

I’m incompetent! I’m inconsistent! I’m a big loser! I couldn’t prove to everyone that I have what it takes, that I’m excellent in everything. And even I couldn’t believe that I don’t have the entrails, that I can’t do things excellently. The competence, self-esteem, self-confidence in me is starting to peter out along my way to the crest.

All along, this un-euphoric page is caused by my inferiorities, which unconsciously misleading me in life. More times, when I’m above everybody I’m feeling the aura of blissfulness but on the other hand, sometimes or quite sometimes, having a better one than me is much just like degrading and distorting my being. Consequently, I feel so much insecurities and I will do everything to defend and protect my ego from anxieties and frustrations.

I’ve known myself or even “myselves”, that’s why I’m presently taking a course to study such behavior. I don’t want to blame the significant people around me who have been part of my existence, or I mean my erroneous existence, my erroneous upbringing and misguided-ness. But now, I have understood them since I have so much knowledge about their fault which they have done in my entire development. I understood and continuing to, because I have the need to understand them. Truly it is, and the only thing I want them to do is to guide me rightly until now and support in my endeavors.

Whew! I think it’s me who mustn’t be like this anymore. The very pessimistic me has no place in my other “selves” and I’ve been trying to accept everything, my shortcomings and the like in order to live blissful and in the pink.

Expletively, if I were to be given a chance to write and just to write my “ifs” that I could have or should have done in my entire life, I will, even it will no longer be useful!

If I became competent in every event in my life, then, I will live blissfully.
If I became consistent on my studies and other things, then, I will reap the fruits I’ve planted towards my crest in times.
If I am being raised and guide righteously, then, I will not be like this. It’s either I am blissful or even euphoric! It’s either I have no insecurities, inferiorities and inconsistencies. It’s just like I can be at two places at the same time. The feeling of happiness of stepping to two different boundaries is like fulfilling the thought of “two-place-at-the-same-time”, a dream being manifested.

However, in my entire existence I’ve learned so many things, the one that is very convincing for me is to accept my shortcomings (because I must) and have place for new challenges and never descend “yourselves” into the gloom. For all the ifs, could haves, and should haves, it will no longer have place in my thoughts because I will become strong now to accept everything…to accept or to admit everything that I’ve done wrongly…

It’ll just remind me that “someones’” are always better than me!

I will just go back to my new self, “even it’ll cause demise, and still I have the need to understand…”

Reason: Because...[a refletion paper in philosophy and logic]

2008-02-07T17:36:00.000+08:00

Do you believe that only with the use of reason can we become objective in most circumstances?

As a Psychology student, we are in this field of study because of searching for reasons of why and how an individual act in a certain way and certain situation. That, we consider this as reason bound study or inquiries. Although human behavior is very difficult to study and understand, that’s why we are trying to search or find reason based on individuals overt behavior in different situations and passed experiences, especially during one's development. Human behavior varies in a reason. As of now many theorists postulated their own theoretical inquiries based on different aspects of man’s life and behavior. They gave their own reasons with these phenomenon which are being used in psychology as a study, for a reason, to compare and contrast each, then cluster.

Personally, I do agree that only with the use of reason can we become objective in most circumstances. This does not necessarily mean that any reason can be used objectively in most circumstances or situations unless, reasons that are good or right and conforms to the social norms. Moreover, I am neither questioning nor asking for reason, for example, is there really a God? If there is, why is that He doesn’t exist at all. That is the thing we mustn’t ask for a good, right or true reason because we are the reason of Him and for Him, that nothing is reasonable when we talk of Him.

In the first place, objectively, we exist of a reason, because of our parents’ love and affection which causes our individuality biologically. The reason of being their son or daughter is the fact that we inherit their appearance, attitude, mentality, and the like and also by making us. What is the reason why we go to sleep? Because it is necessary or it’s biologically or psychologically innate and needed for us, that we must take a rest in order to regain our strength for tomorrows’ endeavor. We drink, eat and eliminate because of our needs; thirst, hunger, and body waste elimination. We make decision because we must and no matter what happens, we are accountable to it.

In showing affection or having the right partners in life, in short in loving, is there a reason behind? I’ve read a novel entitled “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho a Brazilian Author, one of the passages there is, “…one is love because one is love, no reason for loving.” Partly, I agree but knowing, there are reasons.

Simply, from the passage itself, there is a reason stated. We love because one is love and no reason for loving. Why the author suggested this, if it doesn’t have the reason, so what’s the bases and purpose of loving? There’s no means in writing it, if at first love has no reason at all. The world will be vague or ambiguous if that thing has no reason. When we use “because”, we are stating a fact that there is reason. In a sense, whenever you light a candle, probably the place is dark that there is a need to have a light. Same with the reason of loving, two opposite or, for some, the same pole attract or it may repel. A man and a woman have the need for each other. The objective reason of a man is to suffice the woman’s needs in a man’s body and vice versa.

In reality, I am not saying that God is not real because He doesn’t exist but He exists and He’s real, it’s not debatable rather. For example, you failed in your examination, simply because or the reason is that you didn’t study well or probably you’re just a stupid person not knowing the reason behind and purpose of studying and the negative outcome you’ll face if you didn’t think objectively based on those reasons you have thought. The logic is, “a man didn’t study well, will fail!” Although he knew for a fact why he should study, that’s an inanity.

Practically, the essence of the “use of reason”, whether right or wrong, bad or good, is that it helps us in making any decisions and foreseeing the possibility or circumstances objectively based on the apparent reason we are thinking.

Nevertheless, it’s our prime role to take over or to be accountable in everything we make and also, reason varies in situations because I believe it’s within a person how he or she will reason out or think in having an objective view in most circumstances.

Found Missing...

2008-02-06T19:19:00.000+08:00

If I will be given a chance to write my first Column on our school paper (The Bastion), this will be my Column Head. It's an example of figure of speech, or, specifically oxymoron. It's a literary figure of speech in which contradictory or opposite terms or ideas are combined to create a rhetorical effect by paradoxical means such as found missing.

I just found myself missing!
(to be continued...)

Inasmuch...

2008-02-05T20:48:00.000+08:00

Acuteness

“Tick, Tack, Tick, Tack!”
Whew! What was that?
Midnight
Awoke from asleep
Tried to sleep again
“Tick, Tack, Tick, Tack!”
Disturbed my rest
What makes me heard that?
Started to listen
Never ending tone
Searching for etiology
Continuous…
Begins to hear more frequent and faster.
Tried to examine…
Clock...
Hunting the location
Far from my ears
Few meters away
How can I do that?
One thing
Sense of hearing is Acute
Hindrance for everything
Insanity or Sanity
Due to Cognition
But not processing…

Far Away

2008-01-13T18:20:00.000+08:00

This time, This placeMisused, MistakesToo long, Too late.Who was I to make you wait.Just one chance.Just one breath.Just in case there's just one left.'Cause you know, you know, you know

That I love you.I have loved you all along.And I miss you.Been far away for far too long.I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go.Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore.One my knees, I'll ask.Last chance for one last dance.'Cause with you, I'd withstand.All of hell to hold your hand.I'd give it allI'd give for us.Give anything but I won't give up.'Cause you know, you know, you know.

So far away.Been far away for far too long.So far awayBeen far away for far too long.But you know, you know, you know. I wanted.I wanted you to stay'Cause I needed.I need to hear you say.That I love you.I have loved you all along.And I forgive you.For being away for far too long.So keep breathing.'Cause I'm not leaving.Hold on to me and, never let me go.

It rekindle me from the depth of my thought of you! I don't know, you're so far away to hear me say...

that I loved you all along...

Threshold of 2K7 and 2K8

2007-12-31T20:08:00.000+08:00

This year has taught me so many things in life as HIS son, a student, a son to my parents, a friend, an enemy, a stranger and the like. It only means that i've learned all this year. Many sad moments but still I could have managed to grin. As I've remember, I celebrated my new year of 2007 alone at our house due to the fact of conflicts and my "pride". I don't know. For all the could'ves' and should'ves', there's no regrets. It's just like how can i regret something didn't happen. But I know, that I can do better this year in different aspects of my life. I will be more dedicated on my studies and leisure pursuits, strive for my goals, be more religious and to become a good person albeit it's hard. But I will try. Next time I'll do my blog, I'll make a long manifesto...that's all for now...I don't have much time.Happy new year to everyone!Be good and God Bless!Ü

Busy mode eh...

2007-12-30T21:01:00.000+08:00

ayon...

by next time...

i'll post new blogs and the like...

i'm much busy these days...

Yuletide Season

2007-12-17T15:08:00.000+08:00

It's the 17th day of December, 3:14 in the afternoon and I don't know what's in this day. I just don't know, why?I don't care. As Gibo said, "Something's wrong wit' me?", which is true to me.

Something's also wrong about me. I want to decipher the wrong things, I had but I just don't know how to make it right. Eight days are left before Christmas. One thing I'm avoiding to pass by, which is inevitable.Oh! my goodness...

Someone there?Somebody?Hey, I don't know. I need someone who may listen to my sentiments in this damn life.

If someone will be able to read this, email me, so tired, something's wrong 'bout me...
I need a break, I need a shoulder, I need someone to make me grin.

unheeded_being...

Another Pace in my Life

2007-12-07T20:51:00.000+08:00

The Official Literary Folio of The Bastion

Singkaw, is the title of this magnificent lit.folio.

This will be distributed on Monday, December 9, 2007 at the Publication Office, College of Law Bldg.

Certificate of Registration is very much needed.

This not the end of my master pieces, this is but the start of my eyes and wings flying with the magic carpet of Aladin and with my princess...

****the COVER DESIGN of this folio which I laid out with passion[haha] has won 6th place during the 7th Luzonwide Higher Education Press Congress held at Tuguegarao. It was participated by different State Universities and Colleges from different corners of Luzon.

At the Football Field

2007-12-06T20:11:00.000+08:00

This photo is taken by Christopher G. Bersales, Jr. at the football field. We're supposed to watch a football game but eventually we've end up in a discourse.That is Paola, me and Jayson.

Happy!

2007-12-05T19:32:00.000+08:00

I can't explain why I'm happy this day. I guess it's just a part of my enlightened attitude now.[hehe]

Sooner, I'll be able to find my 'never-found treasure'...

What else???

Hmmm...

I'm happy, that's it...

It's in it???what else???

2007-12-04T19:53:00.000+08:00

Late in the afternoon, I looked up the sky then I saw this 'thing'. Somehow incapable of showing itself. I can't decipher it. I reckon it's just showing 'its' inflexibility to us...

My Own Personality Theory [Psychological Perspective]

2007-12-03T17:56:00.000+08:00

PSYCHOSUPERIOLOGY

Proposed by: Mark Jay E. Buenaventura

“The greatest motivating factor of all is the fact that you do not want to become inferior anymore.”

Preface

Personally, I was greatly influenced by many other theories. I definitely agreed with Freud’s Psychoanalytic Theory of repression of the biological motives in the unconscious and might develop anxiety to the individuals’ personality. Also with the three components of the personality: the id (pleasure), ego (reality), and the superego (morality principle). The three divisions of the human psyche which is the consciousness, subconscious and the unconscious which is the vast or biggest region among the three. With Jung’s Analytical Theory which assess individuals as introvert and extrovert because of the environmental implications, and with Horney’s Feminine Psychology focuses on the love and affection receive by the individual from the significant others during the development. Lastly is Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory of Personality by which I relate my personal ideology and endeavors of my development from the conception until now.

I strongly believed that every individual can develop their own theory. As they have said, how human behaves in a certain ways is very difficult to study, its etiology and the like. If and only if, those individuals or every person can formulate and develop their own theory, they can enhance or develop their personality and can accurately anticipate future events. If they will have their own theory, they can give meaning to their personal experiences. Perhaps, if every individual has its own theory, we can have somehow an ease to understand and study human behavior because of these references.

Etiologically, human personality is the combined structures of fixed features (heredity) and fixed feature uploading which is primarily the parenting process and the extrinsic influences by significant others and the environment. Personality is varying situation-ally. The past can definitely determine or predict the future – situational.

Kyrajamesque: My View and Manner of Human Nature

As the conception of individual, it primarily involves competition. Apparently, it is survival of the fittest, removal of the unfit in the so-called psychosuperior traits. In which, the sperm cells managed to go through the egg cell to declare as the strongest of them all.

Life is a competition, whether we win or more time we lost. We are not perfect and nobody is, but we can always strive for excellence and perfection.

I am a person having a gloomy past. Self-pity, lack of encouragement, support and guidance are my primary inferiority traits. I went through this life achieving my crest. Even until now I am doing it. One of my motivating factors is self-glorifying or narcissism they say. But this is my only way not to descend in that gloomy and yet melancholic past. As I have said, “The greatest motivating factor of all is the fact that I do not want to become inferior anymore.” This quotation I have made for myself that I definitely practicing it in different aspects of my life.

Inside the houses, the classrooms, the schools and outside of those are having full competition in many respects. In Reality sake, you are hypocrite if you want to be down, to be inferior and not to strive for psychosuperiority. For some, it may be the “the contentment of all you have” but for most, contentment of what you have can never be the contentment of your Becoming.

Psychosuperiology

This is the study and the process of how an individual reach the psychosuperiority in his stages of development in different aspects. It is also the study of the behavior of the individual having been or being a psychosuperior being. Reaching a goal is never been easy; it is like you are hunting a shark in the forest. By that, psychosuperiority can be done in some little ways. For example, if a child (6-year old) saw a trash on the ground and he did not even try to pick to throw it to the garbage, that is one simple way of psychoinferiority (attitudinal/morality aspects). But if a child (6-year old) saw the same and he do it in a righteous way or he pick and throw the trash in the trashcan, which is a sense and one simple way of being psychosuperior.

Psychosuperiological Development [in one sense]

v Prenatal (conception to birth) – managing a single sperm to went through the ovary to meet the egg cell to fertilized.

v Infancy (birth – end of 2^nd Week) – overcoming the hazardous period.

v Babyhood (end of 2^nd Week – end of 2^nd Year) – establishing a firm foundation of a child in all aspects.

v Early Childhood (2 – 6 years old) – extending a rapport between people of some age and of not.

v Late Childhood (6 – 10 or 12) – achieving awards, citations, recognitions and the like.

v Pre-adolescence (10 – 12; 13 or 14) – overcoming the pessimistic implications of puberty to the behavior.

v Adolescence (13 or 14 – 18) – self-becoming in many respects and thinking critically.

v Early Adulthood (18 – 35) – maturation to the different endeavors.

v Middle Adulthood (35 – 65) – self-understanding and self-calming; deeper perspective.

v Senescence (65 to Death) – self-acceptance for self-actualization.

After an individual assess himself, assuming that he arrive those at the psychosuperiological development, he will live and die as psychosuperior in one sense of personality and of life.

Psychoinferiological Development

“The greatest hazard of all, losing one’s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss, an arm, a leg, twenty pesos, a wife, etcetera is sure to be noticed.”

The other way around but it is focus on the etiology of having the characteristics of psychoinferior. In psychosuperiological development, if you did not arrived at the sense of psychosuperiority you will accumulate psychoinferiority as the final trait. A psychoinferior being can develop insecurities, being self- centered, skeptic, culpability, identity crisis, social withdrawal, stagnant and being self-despair.

Two Structural Patterns of Behavior Variations

v Fixed Feature – genetic cause of behavior.

v Fixed Feature Uploading – this is like the parenting, the implications of the extrinsic influences to the individuals’ development and behavior.

Both of the two structural patterns are inseparable. They need to be considered in studying human behavior. However, this must be also considered in the variation of situations.

Hazards: Etiology of Psychoinferiority and other Odd Behavior of Individual [in one sense]

Psychosophysical Hazards

v Unwanted Child; Prematurity and Wrong Implantation

v Name Concept; Infant mortality

v Symbiotic Relationship between Family; Illness

v Sex Role Typing; Unattractiveness

v Intellect; Physical Disabilities

v Unfavorable Self-concept; Late maturer

v Moral and Social Behavior; Body Conscious

v Conformity; Unattractiveness

v Maladjustments in Everything; Loss of physical and sexual vigor

v None-assessment; Deprivation

The past can either make or break the future. Therefore past could possibly determine future. An unwanted child affected psychologically which can develop lots of insecurities, physical, social and the like.

v Obsoleteism – an act of analyzing the past implications of the extrinsic influences among individuals, either positive or negative. It is somehow the root cause of changes in the personality over time which is empirical.

Quoted Defense Mechanism of Psychosuperior as you perceived those against to you…

1. “Easy to break but definitely easier to mend.”

2. “No matter how a man sharpen his pen with an old and unsharpened sharpener, still the point will not be pointed, but as a pen, although unsharpened uses its functions far better than other.”

3. “Why will you sob? Why are you so melancholic? Why are you ashamed? And why you blamed somebody? If the only reason is that they can not reach your crest.”

4. “I am a liver and you are the waste. I have brain so as you. I have the mind so as you, too. But I have it all to understand you.”

5. “Sometimes, the unfairness of reality is very much unfair and the least you can only do is to surpass hardly and leaving the rope to ‘HIM’.”

8 Senses of Psychosuperior Being

1. Sense of Sight

2. Sense of Hearing

3. Sense of Smell

4. Sense of Touch

5. Sense of Taste

6. Sense of Humor

7. Common Sense

8. Psychsense – a sense of having a deeper perspective, view and understanding towards different people in different situations. An open-minded individual.

“I have the need to understand you.”

Consequence of Psychoinferior Being

1. Non-sense – a sense of not being a sensible individual and yet he is characterized of having a distortion of personality in reality. He either recline, deny, project, having an over-covered personality, secretive and too much insecurities which may lead to pessimistic behaviors about him or may interpret by others as such.

Depiction of Non-sense Pessimistic Behaviors

v The Pre-tender – a trait characterized of being pretender in intellectual capabilities and social relationship to be accepted.

v The Dejesterist – a trait of characterized being a joker, vague envious behavior, and yet he is in denial stage of maturities.

v The Saplagiacorist – a trait characterized of a good paradigm of being a person but definitely having a dark-half. Concept crook.

v The Pre-Arbesterist – a trait characterized of being prejudge mental in a jester manner because of feeling insecure or inferior.

v The Rude-Subordinalist – a trait characterized of being a follower of omnipotent being but he is rude.

v The Overmoractorilist – a trait characterized of being a follower also but acts as overacting.

v The Apathist – a trait characterized of having lack of concern with others; playing safe.

v The Raresecrist – a trait characterized of being secretive rare individual and yet to play himself safe.

v The Temperist – a trait characterized of having a personality of a wheel. You will never know where to stop to its random circumference.

v The Raredurist – a trait characterized of having odd behavior yet going with the flow.

v The Weakpasist – a trait characterized of being weak of frustrations because of lack of acceptance and he live with the past.

v The Overglorifist – a trait characterized of being psychosuperior and yet psychoinferior in a sense that it is too much.

Evaluation:

I have experienced some of this I stated above and I have observed in my environment. As of now, I am considering myself as in the PSYCHOSUPERIOR because I am using my simple ways to become psychosuperior. The thing that I can only do that nobody can ever do. That is the least I can do or thinking that I am PSYCHOSUPERIOR.

In a sense, psychosuperior are not totally categorizing you as an authority or omnipotent for somehow. Use your power in a righteous way so that you can help psychoinferior then to achieve the bottom-line of all of these ------ HAPPINESS in COMMUNION with GOD! +_-

Mark Jay E. Buenaventura

Bachelor of Science in Psychology – II

EQUATION of LOVE

2007-12-03T16:11:00.000+08:00

Nash: Thank you. I've always believed in numbers and the equations and logics that lead to reason.

But after a lifetime of such pursuits, I ask,

"What truly is logic?"

"Who decides reason?"

My quest has taken me through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional -- and back.

And I have made the most important discovery of my career, the most important discovery of my life: It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reasons can be found.

I'm only here tonight because of you [his wife, Alicia].

You are the reason I am.

You are all my reasons.

Thank you.

its in it...i swear........................................

the next JOHN NASH...hahah

psych aman.......

Magnum Opus

2007-12-03T16:00:00.000+08:00

For once, I did it. I’ve already pierced into this. Something ‘is’ left upon the threshold. I want to go back to pick but I opted not to, it’s in it forevermore…I’m just glad, that I’m able to cast my breathes, the breathe of life I always wanted to emit and the certain thing in this streaked. My Life…I’m living with achieving my dreams and I will not perish here unless I’m there!My pneuma and yours will still barge its conduit, I will be yours not mine but you’ll be mine in me!!!